Thanksgiving isn't until tomorrow, but I wanted to give you a few tips I have learned in more than 50 Thanksgivings. I want to stress that I did not make all of these mistakes myself. Really. I didn't.
I offer the following, in no particular order:
If you think that giant pot of potatoes might boil over, it will. Use two pots.
Don't shove that mountain of potato peels down the disposal unless you have a plumber on your guest list. (Extra bonus tip: don't buy the bargain potato peeler.)
Don't forget to remove the squishy bag of giblets from the turkey. Check both cavities. Yes, there are two. And don't forget to roast the turkey neck and share it privately in the kitchen with the person who helped the most.
Yes, cheesecake is too a traditional Thanksgiving dessert.
Don't forget to pre-order the world's best pecan pie from the Culinary Institute unless you are willing to phone them at 6:59 a.m. Wednesday and beg for the privilege of overpaying for the very last pie that hadn't been reserved. (Thanks for the tip, Alexa!)
Should you decide to downsize and sell all your stuff, remember to save at least one tablecloth, just in case. And, downsized or not, don't use any tablecloth whose appearance won't be improved by splotches of cranberry sauce, gravy, red wine and chocolate (aka "The Breakfast of Champions).
Using paper napkins is not a moral failing.
Ice. You're going to need more ice.
You probably don't have too much wine.
Before sitting down, you may want to check the microwave and refrigerator to see what you are about to forget to serve.
If you want to remain thankful for more than 24 hours, do all the dishes before you go to bed. Yes, that means the pots, too.
If boys old enough to know better should squirt whipped cream directly from the can into their mouths, develop a sudden case of hysterical blindness and remember how cute they were when they were babies.
And somewhere between forkfuls, pause for a minute, look around the table to remember who is not there this year and promise yourself to appreciate those who are.
More Thanksgiving ideas:
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